Some joyful parenting moments are big events, like last week’s trunk or treat, like holidays and milestones and long-planned family vacations, carefully-crafted surprises or days set aside for special adventures.

But most often, I have found, the real joy of parenting is in discovered moments, unplanned and expectation-free. Take today: a gorgeous, early-November afternoon awash in golden light; a rake and a couple of wagons; piles of fallen leaves; and the indulgence of oatmeal cookies and milk, just my boy and me.

This is the fall my childhood self was sure I was missing in Florida.