I hit a low last night. We got some discouraging news about the house (not the new one – the old one we can’t quite seem to get rid of), and I was struggling with not being able to both unpack and keep the house clean or even something resembling neat, not to mention the stacks of laundry piling up and the full schedule of appointments over the next several days. My insomnia is back, and it all felt like too much.
This morning, we rushed out the door for Lina’s 9 a.m. physical therapy appointment. I ran to the grocery store to pick up a few things to get us through the week and returned to the therapy center to find Lina had screamed through the whole session. (She had been doing so much better about that!) We came home for lunch, and I crammed food in my mouth while popping up a dozen times to address the various needs of my kids, which included mopping up a full cup of milk dumped all over the table, chair and floor.
Normally, Lina has speech therapy on Tuesday afternoons. I discovered a couple weeks ago that a fantastic farmers market runs weekly at exactly the time we pass on our way home. The speech therapist canceled for today, but I decided to take the kids up to the farmers market, anyway. It’s a bit of a drive, and I wasn’t sure it was the right call. But within minutes of pushing the stroller onto that little field of produce stands, I felt the weight on my shoulders lift and my cloud of gloom dissipate. The weather was incredible – low-80s, sunny, a light breeze – and the fresh air, the gorgeous piles of produce, the live John Mayer covers, the families on their picnic blankets, the couple dancing by the food truck, the throngs of children playing in the dry creek bed and swarming the playground equipment… Somehow, it was the perfect reminder of how little it matters that my house is dirty and still piled with boxes. For the cherry on top, Jon was able to meet us there for a little food truck grilled cheese before heading to a late work meeting.
Life is so messy and busy. It gets HARD, and not always with the big stuff. Sometimes, it’s a lot of everyday stuff piling up and smothering my joy. Today, the laundry and cleaning waited while I found my joy somewhere between the peaches and the purple okra.
Also, Lina totally kissed a boy.